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If you’re bothered by something but aren’t going to raise the issue with the person in question, make sure you raise the issue with you so that you get to a balanced perspective on it (no blaming and shaming you), acknowledge your feelings, and take any appropriate actions that are needed.

You can’t always raise an issue at the time but that doesn’t stop you from learning from the insights that you stand to gain by doing a little reflection on it, plus you quite simply know for next time.

Particularly when the person has form for this kind of thing and has actually previously crossed and even busted up our boundaries, why this has occurred is self-evident.

It becomes about statement as opposed to judgement of you or them. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

In fact, for some people, it’s easy to make claims of not being bothered because they’re always the one in the driving seat, or because they don’t actually have the capacity to empathise…

There can be a reluctance on our part to be vulnerable and explain what’s bothering us and often, because it’s hogging up our emotional and mental resources, it’s near unfathomable that the other person couldn’t know.

It deeply wounds us and lack of even explanation to the self keeps unhealthy beliefs in play.

We’re all bothered by many of the same things but for different reasons, and a person cannot know our specific reason or our perception of the facts if we don’t voice it.

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  1. The problem with that, is that women all have a 6th sense and are all able to smell a proposal a mile away. I was greatly mistaken (I found out later that the photographer that I hired was advertising the event…way to go Cal). As we stood and watched the musician play and sing, the musician changed up the song selection and began playing a love ballad (this was the song I told the musician to play).